Should I...Or Should I Not......

Funny. I remember back in March of 2010 I was so excited to start this blog. After entering in a few posts I kinda just stopped posting. Until today, June 26th, 2011. Over a year later. I dont know what all of a sudden made me remember my blog, or even made me remember my user name and password...but here I am! Im back!

So obviously way too much in the last year has happened for me to fill in. But Im not with that Freddie guy I was with back in 2010. Yah that only lasted for all of 8 months. Maybe he was too young, immature? (He was afterall 5 years younger then me!)

Since then, I have been engaged, to a crazy man. (No i didnt know he was crazy while we were dating or engaged...but he did show his true colours eventually so I called it off!) I have had another relationship that altho only lasted for all of 3 months, was very serious. We were crazy in love, and ment to be together, until he broke my heart cause he relised he still has feelings for his ex. (Go figure, just my luck) A few weeks of heart ache there, but Im back on track now. (Altho he is dating a new girl, and everytime he updates his status on fb to something about her, I get super mad.....) So what gives?? (Probably cause those status use to be about ME and how much he loves ME)

It would seem I cant find the right guy. And when I do, when things are going just so perfect, I get hurt. Maybe I put too much into relationships or maybe I just dont put enough into them.

Ive been hanging out with this new guy recently. And if this one doesnt work, if I just get hurt again, I totally give up! I really like him. We met two years ago at my friend, his cousins wedding. We were both in the wedding party. He thought I was cute then, but it just never really worked out.

So randomly 3 months ago he re added me to fb and we started talking again. We planned to get together but it never did work out. So finally one day he said Im going to come and pick you up, we are going for a ride on my bike! So he did...we went for an hour ride on the bike, grabbed a coffee and that was that. He then dropped meo ff at home, but txt me an hour later saying he would like to see me again. So next time we got together, had a bbq at his house, went for a bike ride and just chilled out and watched Tv. He didnt try anything. No kissing, touching, NOTHING. It was kinda a relief to find a guy who wasnt trying to get into your pants after the second date....

so third time we got together, he came to my house and we watched a few movies. First movie, he didnt make a move at all. Second movie he put his arm around me and held my hand. After that second movie he left. When i walked him to the door he kissed me good bye. Nothing else just a nice (really good!) kiss!

So he works in Alberta. He works 20 days streight, then flies back to Ontario for 10 days. The following morning after our first kiss, his flight left to go back to Alberta. but he txt me every day. First thing in the am to say good morning beautiful. And after work we would txt til he went to bed. After 20 long days I finally got to see him again! He came home this past Friday. I picked him up from the air port. We went back to his place and cuddled on the couch and kissed then I left for work. He came over that night for movies. And yes we did sleep together then. I was kinda worried I was just going to be a one night stand but to my surprise after he left the next morning he txt me asking how my day was. Then invited me to the beach the following day with him, his daughter, his brother and his neice.

After only 2 hours of getting home after the beacch today he txt me and said Thanks for coming with us, I really enjoyed your company. Cant wait to see you Tuesday night (our next get together) I mean it must not be a one night stand, if he introduced me to his daughter today right...and the fact that he is still txting me and still sticking to our plans we had made. right....

The only thing that worries me, is he leaves to go back to alberta on Friday. What if after that I dont hear from him...what if it wasnt a one night stand, but more like a week stand if that makes sense!

Maybe Im just over thinking, as I normally do. And maybe Im reading way too far into things. I mean we have only gotten together 5 times now but I really like him! I just dont see how it will work out with him gone 20 days outta the month! And I mean I guess it could be a good thing, at least that way we are not spending every waking moment together, getting totally sick of each other. But what if things do get serious...can i really go a whole 20 days without seeing him.....

Feed back and thoughts anyone...Should i continue and see how things go, or cut things off now before I get hurt......