Should I...Or Should I Not......

Funny. I remember back in March of 2010 I was so excited to start this blog. After entering in a few posts I kinda just stopped posting. Until today, June 26th, 2011. Over a year later. I dont know what all of a sudden made me remember my blog, or even made me remember my user name and password...but here I am! Im back!

So obviously way too much in the last year has happened for me to fill in. But Im not with that Freddie guy I was with back in 2010. Yah that only lasted for all of 8 months. Maybe he was too young, immature? (He was afterall 5 years younger then me!)

Since then, I have been engaged, to a crazy man. (No i didnt know he was crazy while we were dating or engaged...but he did show his true colours eventually so I called it off!) I have had another relationship that altho only lasted for all of 3 months, was very serious. We were crazy in love, and ment to be together, until he broke my heart cause he relised he still has feelings for his ex. (Go figure, just my luck) A few weeks of heart ache there, but Im back on track now. (Altho he is dating a new girl, and everytime he updates his status on fb to something about her, I get super mad.....) So what gives?? (Probably cause those status use to be about ME and how much he loves ME)

It would seem I cant find the right guy. And when I do, when things are going just so perfect, I get hurt. Maybe I put too much into relationships or maybe I just dont put enough into them.

Ive been hanging out with this new guy recently. And if this one doesnt work, if I just get hurt again, I totally give up! I really like him. We met two years ago at my friend, his cousins wedding. We were both in the wedding party. He thought I was cute then, but it just never really worked out.

So randomly 3 months ago he re added me to fb and we started talking again. We planned to get together but it never did work out. So finally one day he said Im going to come and pick you up, we are going for a ride on my bike! So he did...we went for an hour ride on the bike, grabbed a coffee and that was that. He then dropped meo ff at home, but txt me an hour later saying he would like to see me again. So next time we got together, had a bbq at his house, went for a bike ride and just chilled out and watched Tv. He didnt try anything. No kissing, touching, NOTHING. It was kinda a relief to find a guy who wasnt trying to get into your pants after the second date....

so third time we got together, he came to my house and we watched a few movies. First movie, he didnt make a move at all. Second movie he put his arm around me and held my hand. After that second movie he left. When i walked him to the door he kissed me good bye. Nothing else just a nice (really good!) kiss!

So he works in Alberta. He works 20 days streight, then flies back to Ontario for 10 days. The following morning after our first kiss, his flight left to go back to Alberta. but he txt me every day. First thing in the am to say good morning beautiful. And after work we would txt til he went to bed. After 20 long days I finally got to see him again! He came home this past Friday. I picked him up from the air port. We went back to his place and cuddled on the couch and kissed then I left for work. He came over that night for movies. And yes we did sleep together then. I was kinda worried I was just going to be a one night stand but to my surprise after he left the next morning he txt me asking how my day was. Then invited me to the beach the following day with him, his daughter, his brother and his neice.

After only 2 hours of getting home after the beacch today he txt me and said Thanks for coming with us, I really enjoyed your company. Cant wait to see you Tuesday night (our next get together) I mean it must not be a one night stand, if he introduced me to his daughter today right...and the fact that he is still txting me and still sticking to our plans we had made. right....

The only thing that worries me, is he leaves to go back to alberta on Friday. What if after that I dont hear from him...what if it wasnt a one night stand, but more like a week stand if that makes sense!

Maybe Im just over thinking, as I normally do. And maybe Im reading way too far into things. I mean we have only gotten together 5 times now but I really like him! I just dont see how it will work out with him gone 20 days outta the month! And I mean I guess it could be a good thing, at least that way we are not spending every waking moment together, getting totally sick of each other. But what if things do get serious...can i really go a whole 20 days without seeing him.....

Feed back and thoughts anyone...Should i continue and see how things go, or cut things off now before I get hurt......

Well I had a good weekend. B's dad didnt take Braeden until Satruday afternoon, cause he had to work in the morning. But when he did pick up B I went out to freddies. Sat night Freddie and I, plus our other friends Dave, Kevin, Mandy, and Becker all went to our friends house an hour away for a BBQ. Altho it wasnt much of a BBQ cause we never did eat anything. We ended up just hanging out, drinking. None of us ate, figuring we would be eatting there. So needless to say we were all starving by the time we left around 1am. So we hit timmies, got sandwiches and drove the hour drive home. It was after 2am by the time Freddie and I got dropped off, and man were we tired!

But of course as usual, i am an early riser...doesnt matter what time I go to bed at. And I was up by 8am. I had a shower, got ready and went to the grocery store with freddies mom. When we got back Freddie was awake. We made eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and toast for breakfast/lunch. Then Freddie and I had a two hour nap. I left after that. Had to get home to do a few things before my lil man gets dropped off.

I was looking forward to watching my favorite show tonight, Desperate Housewives...but its not on :( Instead some special is on.

So I have decided to make my Easter Cards. Its also Freddies birthday, and his moms birthday coming up. So Im going to make some birthday cards as well.

Anyhoo...Nothing else to report really! Enjoy the rest of your sunday evening!

Scrapbooking

So I came across an amazing blog today! Ink Me Baby One More Time! Its a blog about card making and scrapbooking. Scrapbooking isnt just a hobby for me, its a addiction as I had mentioned before. I do love card making as well, altho I would much rather scrapbook. Altho my blog isnt about scrapbooking or card making, its about every day life, I figured I would post some of my pics up of my pages, card and crafts. Hope you enjoy!


A gift bag I made

The bowl I made to match my plate and travelers mug

Plate

yup, hes my monkey alright

A make your own mug I made

This is a bullet board. I painted the backround brown, and added a scrapbook page in the middle. The sides I use for reminders, and can use with a tack.

My son and I

Julie, myself and Amanda at a bar in Niagara falls

my bf and I...I made him this page for valentines day and framed it for him.

me and my lil man

my best friend in the whole wide world. We have been friends for over 10 years. Met in grade 9.

Christmas card I made

birthday card I made

Hope you enjoyed my pages! Maybe when I get more done, I will post them up as well!

Today was kinda boring day. Stayed at home all day. Altho we did play outside for a bit this morning, but the morning air was kinda chilly. But come afternoon, it was nice. so we went for a bike ride (aka braeden rode his toddler bike, and i walked beisde him) played outside with sidewalk chalk.

I met my hot neighbour today! Ok so this guy is sooo freakin hot. But about 2 months ago, its like he dropped off the face of the earth. Some other guy with a red pick up truck was coming in and out of hotties apparmtnet, and hottie was no where to be seen. So the other day his car was outside! And i was like WTF. So today I was outside reading my book, and hottie had let his dog out for a pee. well the dog came my way. So he came over. He introducted himself. Altho we had talked a few times in the past before he disapeared, we never did get each others name. His name was Adam. And he works for a cement company, and he travels for work. He was in Calafornia for the last 2 months working. Nice eh? What I would give to work in california for 2 months??!!! But now I can say that I know hotties name, and why it seemed that he dropped off the face of the earth. As for that other guy who was coming in and outta his apartment? That was his older brother. They are living together, splitting rent, being Adam isnt there all the time, no point in him paying ALL the rent. So this girl Nikki which Im assuimg is the brothes gf came over today while i was outside playing with Braeden. Her name is Nikki. Nice girl. She asked me if I wanted to join them for a beer...but being I dont drink beer...I said no. Altho I really should have said yes. I dont know many of my neighbours. Well I do, To day "Hi how are you today?" But to actually hang out with them? Not so much. And the nights that Freddie doesnt come over, it gets lonley all by myself. I wouldnt mind having a few people around this area that I can hang out with.

Anways sorry for the rambling...as always. I just needed something to talk about. Have a good night and weekend everyone!

I

My best friend Mandy and myself at halloween. Can you guess what we are? Sorry I just figured out how to upload pics...so I may go a bit picture crazy!

My bestest and I again. Freddie is a huge derby guy, and Mandys husband is as well. So during the sumer we are ALWAYS traveling somewhere to go to a derby. We are going to be the next derby pin up girls. lol

I think this pic is just cool.

My lil man

And B again

Myself and B

Freddie and I

Freddie and I again

Yet another day.

B still isnt feelin the greatest. So it was mostly a stay in day. We did make a run to the grocery store and video store. I rented Love Happens. B of course picked a Thomas the Tank Engine movie to rent. Whats new? Hes obssessed.

We came home, I made heart shaped grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and we had some watermelon.

I have another mouse in my house! A couple of weeks ago I reliezed there was a mouse in my cupboard above my stove. So I set a trap and got it. My ex (my sons father) got rid of it for me when he came to pick up B cause I refused to touch it. Freddie told me I should set another trap. Cause if there is one, there is usually another one. But of course I didnt listen to him. And last night, as I was sitting at the computer writting in my blog, everything was quiet and i heard a bang and some rattling coming from the same cupboard above the stove. Yuppp another mouse. Freddie was right. Should have listened to him!

So I txt Freddie. He said that if I set a trap and catch it, he will come over tonight and get rid of it for me. So I set a trap...woke up this morning, looked in the cupboard and yup...there was a dead mouse.

Im glad Freddie is coming tonight! And having a dead mouse is a good excuse for him to come! He lives about 45 minutes away. He use to come over every night during the week, then drive back the next morning for work. But that was too much driving for him, a waste of gas, and it was just running him down. So he comes over maybe once a week now. Altho some weeks he doesnt come over at all. I go to his house every other weekend when B goes to his dads for the weekend. But other then every other weekend, and once during the week (if Im lucky) thats all I see him. So I am quite excited to have him coming over tonight!

Im going to be starting dinner soon. Im going to make a ham steak, scalloped potatoes, carrots, and broccoli. I always do a ham steak instead of a huge ham. With just me and B eatting, we always have WAY too much left overs. And most of the time it goes to waste. So I usually just buy a ham steak....that way we only have a little bit of left overs, and it doesnt go to waste.

I do love cooking! And I got some amazing recipes! I should post some of my recipies up sometime. They say food is the way to a mans heart....However in my case, dont think thats the way to Freddies heart...We have been together 8 months, and still no "L" word. Maybe shy? Maybe he doesnt love me? But I mean surley after 8 months you would love someone. And if not then wouldnt you break things off with them? I mean if you havent fallin in love with them after 8 months...will you ever? Thats where I am at...and its driving me crazy.

Excellent.

I had quite the good weekend. Hope everyone else did!

Friday night was a stay in and relax night. We didnt do a whole lot. Saturday my son and I went to my boyfriends house for the day. My boyfriend was out at his buddies working on cars, but we spend the morning and afternoon with his mom and dad. My son made mud pies in the dirt, we went in the "BIG BATHTUB" aka the hot tub! My son B definitly slept good Sat night after all the excitment.

Saturday night my bf came to my place for the night. We watched Beverly Hillbillies The Movie (great movie that is) and went to sleep. We were both pooped and he was at the start of a cold.

Sunday morning we woke up, I made strawberry french toast for my two favorite boys, and we took B to Kidzone where he ran around, played on the slides and basically wore himself out for a couple of hours. Freddie left around 1:30pm to go to his buddies, and B and I spent the remainder of the afternoon taking it easy.

Sunday evening I had scrapbooking. A few of us girls get together a couple times a week for scrapbooking. So yes went scrapbooking. After scrapbooking we came home, I put B to bed. And watched my FAVORITE show of ALL times! Desperate Housewives!!!!!!! (I will seriously die if I miss an episode) After that I watched Mary Poppins...for old time sake, then went to bed.

So on Monday afternoons, I usually bring B to the public school down the street where he will be attending JK in the fall. Monday afternoons they have a early years learning program for those kids going to JK, to kinda get them use to the whole school thing. But B had a horrible cough, a runny nose and was just not himself. So we didnt go to school today. I figured its better off if we DONT pass the cold on to other kids.

So instead I cleaned my house....From top to bottom. I have always been a neat freak. Everything has its place, I dont like my place being dirty, but I did my MAJOR spring cleaning today! I started with the bedding. Took off all the bedding, washed it. And washed another load of laundry. Then I scrubbed the grout in my shower, and washed sink, counter top, toilet, took everything out of the bathroom cupboards and washed it out. Then I organized my kitchen pantry. Removed every pot, pan and dish and scrubbed the inside of the kitchen cupboards. Soaked the burners off the stove, and gave them a good scrub. Cleaned the inside of the garabage can. Did inside the microwave, inside the fridge, on top of the fridge. Inside and outside of all windows. Moved the couch and tv out to wash the floors behind and underneith. Organized B's closet. Dusted all picture frames, table tops, chairs, desks, and windexed the tv, and all glass tables. Then I did one more load of laundry, swept and mopped all floors. Yup...took about 8 hours!!! But I always feel SOOOOO good when my house is clean and everything is done. HOWEVER by tomorrow....you will have never known that I even cleaned today.

That worked.

Ok. Now that I know that first post worked, and now that I know how to publish my posts, I think Im on the right track!

I kinda like the idea of a blog. I have always been one to write down my feelings. So I would start a diary or journal. But of course, being a single mother, I found it hard to find time each day writting about my feelings or the events of the day. I can type a heck of a lot faster then I can write. So I figured I would give it a try.

I noticed a few bloggers put photos up on there entry...can anyone tell me how to do that? lol

So a bit about myself. Im 24 years old (soon to be 25..in April) I am a single mother of a 3 year old boy. He is my world and my life. He does see his father, every other weekends and a for a few hours during the week. As much as I love him, I do need that time to myself every now and then. Its a little relaxing break when he goes with his dad. I have time to clean my house, scrapbook, visit with friends without running after a lil trouble maker lol. But in the end he is totally worth it. He will be starting JK in Sept. Time flies. It just seems like yesterday he was born.

Im dating a guy who is in school to be a mechanic. Hes is definitly a funny boy. Always craking jokes. Never seems to take anything seriously. Now here is the delema. I am 24, turning 25. He is 19, turning 20. When I first met him I thought wow, how cute is he? but with the age difference I knew nothing would ever happen cause it would be too weird. But then I saw him playing with my son and omg it just made my heart melt. I found out a couple of months later that he liked me, and we started dating. He really is a great guy. And he isnt like most 19 year olds, who only wants to party and have a good time. He has goals, and hes not big into partying.

We have been together 8 months. I have fallen in love with him. Altho we havent said the "L" word to each other yet. I dont want to be the one to say it first. What if he doesnt feel the same way about me? And I make an ass of myself saying it? Or what if he does love me, but hes just too shy to say anything. Hes not the most romantic. That I can tell you. He doesnt like to show any affection in public, and he hasnt even told me how he feels about me. I mean obviously he likes me or we wouldnt have been together for the last 8 months...but its just starting to get to me. I wanna know where I stand with him.

Any suggestions on how to bring up the topic, without scaring him away?